Reveal His True Objectives in Record Time
In this article, you'll discover...
- 101 questions to ask a guy to know his true intentions and assess compatibility
- How to tell within minutes if he has the potential to be the right man - or not
- How to stop attracting emotionally unavailable men from the very first conversation
Table of Contents
The second part of discovering how to attract the right man is knowing the best questions to ask a guy to reveal his intentions, which we’ll cover in this article:
- Part 1 | Clarify: Discover the qualities of a good boyfriend (which most women tend to overlook)
- Part 2 | Verify: Learn key questions to ask a man to see his intentions (to see if you two are compatible)
- Part 3 | Qualify: Watch for the signs of a good man (because words are great, but action is what matters)
All Readers Welcome
While this article was written with single women seeking men in mind, as that’s the perspective I can personally speak to, most advice is applicable to all genders and orientations.
So, if you identify outside of a heterosexual female, let me extend a warm personal welcome!
I’m glad you’re here and hope my content helps you achieve your love/life goals even faster.
- Camille Virginia
How to know a man's true intentions
Whether you’re online dating or offline dating (i.e. dating in real life without apps), when you’re first getting to know a new guy, many dating coaches advise staying on surface-level questions to keep the connection light.
But I say do the exact opposite: get to a meaningful level with each other as soon as possible so you can see if there’s a real connection and compatibility.
When you're dating someone, get to a meaningful level with each other as soon as possible so you can see if there's a real connection and compatibility.
Why waste each other’s time talking about topics neither of you really care about (“Did you catch the game last night?”) when you can be getting to know each other on a deeper level and actually enjoy the process?
This is why dating can feel so hard for so many singles – they’re being fed terrible advice, and staying on trivial subjects that reveal nothing about who they truly are or how good of a partner they might make.
The purpose of the dating process is to provide experiences that allow you and the person you’re dating to reveal your true selves, so both of you can see if you’re truly compatible with each other for the long term.
Aspects like personality quirks, pet peeves, and food preferences simply take time to come out.
Someone can be on good dating behavior in the short-term but eventually, if they’re not truly embodying the traits they claim to have (e.g. honesty and reliability), the cracks will begin to show.
This is one of the many advantages of offline dating: it’s much easier, and much faster, to determine who a man truly is by spending time with him in person.
To reveal a man’s true intentions, give yourself the time and in-person experiences to truly get to know him.
To reveal a man's true intentions, give yourself plenty of time
and in-person experiences to truly get to know him.
Investing a few weeks or months to see if a man is right for you is much better than rushing into a huge life decision with him – whether that’s marriage, having a child together, or even getting a dog together.
If it turns out a man isn’t exactly who he claimed to be, those situations will be difficult and/or emotional to get out of – and could have been avoided if you’d just given him a little more time to show his true colors.
Questions to ask a guy to know his intentions
So how do you know if a man has the potential to be the right one for you?
Instead of sitting around wondering why you don’t have a boyfriend, choose a few questions to ask a guy to know his intentions, which will also make your conversations with each other a lot more fun and interesting.
Even if you feel like you don’t know how to talk to guys, or haven’t yet discovered what triggers emotional attraction in a man, take a look through these questions to reveal a guy’s intentions – organized by category:
- Experiences
- Personality
- Lifestyle
- Priorities
- Values
Choose a few to bring up in your next conversation with a guy you’re interested in – in person, not online.
Having a face-to-face conversation gives you the chance to see his facial expressions, body language, tone, and energy behind his answers, as well as encourages a deeper and more powerful connection.
Big thanks to Cool List for inspiring a few of these.
Experiences
You can tell a lot about someone and the choices they make based upon where they’ve been and the choices they’ve made in the past.
Here are 20 questions to ask a man about his past experiences.
- #1 When was the last time you talked to a stranger?
- #2 Who’s the last person that deeply disappointed you and why?
- #3 When was the last time you were genuinely scared?
- #4 What’s the most dangerous experience you’ve ever had?
- #5 What’s the riskiest decision you’ve made in the past?
- #6 Have you ever been arrested?
- #7 What’s one mistake you keep repeating?
- #8 What are some of your family traditions?
- #9 What were you like growing up?
- #10 Have you ever been bullied?
- #11 Have you ever gone through a friend breakup?
- #12 Have you ever had your heart broken?
- #13 Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
- #14 Have you ever cheated on a partner?
- #15 What was your longest relationship?
- #16 Have you ever been in love?
- #17 Have you previously been engaged or married? If so, for how long?
- #18 Why did that relationship end?
- #19 How did that experience shape how you view relationships?
- #20 Are any previous relationships still affecting you or your desire for a new one?
Personality
Unlike behavior, personality and preferences aren’t typically aspects that people can change about themselves.
So it’s important to ask about his inherent traits to see if they are ones that you’re willing to accept and welcome into your own life for the long term.
- #21 When it comes to projects, are you a starter, a finisher, or an implementer?
- #22 What’s one of your major pet peeves?
- #23 What’s your favorite personality trait about yourself?
- #24 What’s your least favorite personality trait about yourself?
- #25 Are you an introvert or extrovert?
- #26 Would you say you're spontaneous, a planner, or a mix of both?
- #27 Do you have any habits or quirks you wish you didn’t?
- #28 How long can you comfortably go without checking email or texts?
- #29 Have you ever changed a habit?
- #30 What’s a really bad piece of advice you were given?
- #31 What motivates you?
- #32 What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
- #33 What’s a choice you've made that was difficult but the right thing to do?
- #34 What accomplishment are you most proud of?
- #35 What’s your biggest fear?
- #36 What’s the most out-of-character choice you’ve ever made?
- #37 What’s one thing people tend to ask your advice on?
- #38 What’s something that surprises people about you when they learn it?
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- #39 What’s one topic you could talk all day about?
- #40 How do you show your flirty side?
- #41 Have you ever changed your opinion on something you never thought you would?
- #42 Are you happy with your career choice?
- #43 Do you like to follow politics or avoid them?
- #44 What was the last movie that made you emotional?
- #45 What's your favorite place you've been in the world?
- #46 Where is a place you never want to visit?
- #47 Would you alter your own past if you could?
- #48 If you could be any film character, who would you be?
- #49 If you had one superpower, what would it be?
- #50 If you could be anyone else alive in the world, who would you be?
- #51 If you could see any artist or band, alive or dead, in concert who would it be?
- #52 If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?
- #53 If you could ask a dog one question and get an answer, what would you ask?
Lifestyle
Even if a man checks a lot of your personality and core values boxes, you need to know if you both share the desire and vision for your life and lifestyle.
Is he a city guy while you’re more of a country gal?
Does he want vacations to be rugged and adventurous while you’d rather lay by the pool with a dirty martini?
Ask these questions to find out…
- #54 If you won the lottery, how would your lifestyle change?
- #55 Are you a morning person or a night owl?
- #56 Do you see yourself having a family in the future?
- #57 Do you see yourself in [current city/state] indefinitely?
- #58 What’s your favorite way to relax after a hard day?
- #59 What would be the perfect date for you?
- #60 What's a perfect weekend consist of for you?
- #61 What's your dream life look like?
- #62 Are you still close to any ex-girlfriends?
- #63 If a woman from your past tried to come between us, how would you react?
- #64 Are most of your friends in relationships or single?
- #65 Are your coupled friends happy in their relationships?
- #66 What do you look for in a friend?
- #67 What do you look for in a woman?
- #68 How do you define a committed relationship?
- #69 What's your favorite part about being in a relationship?
- #70 Should roles in the relationship be based more on traditional gender roles or on individual strengths?
- #71 What do you think we’d be doing right now if the internet was never invented?
- #72 Where do you see yourself in five years?
- #73 What does your life at 90 years old look like?
Priorities
Just because someone says they want to find a new job, run a half-marathon, or raise $5,000 for the American Cancer Society doesn’t mean they’re taking the action required to achieve those goals.
Ask these questions to discover what he’s prioritizing in his life and if there’s room for you in it right now.
- #74 What's something you look forward to this year?
- #75 What's your next life milestone?
- #76 How do you prioritize your life?
- #77 What’s your top priority for the rest of the year?
- #78 Do you want a committed relationship right now?
- #79 Do you feel you're truly ready for a committed relationship right now?
- #80 If you knew the world was going to end in a week, what would you do?
Values
The values of a good man are the most important aspect to look for in a future partner.
It takes time to see someone’s true values and how they live them in their day-to-day, but you can speed up the process by asking the following questions – then moving on to what to look for in a guy when dating.
- #81 When you see someone being mean or rude, what’s your reaction?
- #82 How did the way you were raised shape who you are today?
- #83 Are you close with your family?
- #84 Are you religious or spiritual at all?
- #85 Would you call yourself a reliable person?
- #86 Do you always respond to emails/texts/calls?
- #87 Are you living your life purpose or still searching for it?
- #88 What’s a dealbreaker for you when it comes to a potential partner?
- #89 What do you value most: free time, recognition, or money?
- #90 If you could talk to your 15-year-old self, what would you tell him?
- #91 Do you directly engage difficult topics or try to avoid them?
- #92 Do you believe everyone deserves to be forgiven?
- #93 How do you define honesty?
- #94 What does being a good man mean to you?
- #95 Have you ever ghosted someone?
- #96 What's something you stand for?
- #97 What's something you stand against?
- #98 Do you avoid buying things from any companies for moral reasons?
- #99 Who do you admire in your life?
- #100 If you could solve one problem in the world, what would it be?
- #101 How do you give back to humanity?
Conclusion: Ask key questions to know his intentions
If you want to know when you meet the right man, first you need to get clear on the qualities he possesses.
After that, choosing a few questions to ask a guy to know his intentions will help reveal if he has the potential to be the right partner for you.
But you can’t ask just any questions, they need to be intentional ones that naturally reveal if you and he are on the same page with the big stuff – like having kids, preferred living location, and core values.
The best questions to ask a man you’re dating to reveal his true intentions are divided up into five categories:
- Experiences
- Personality
- Lifestyle
- Priorities
- Values
After you’ve asked him the questions and received answers that are in line with what you’re looking for, you’ve completed the second of three parts to learning how to attract the right man:
- Part 1 | Clarify: Discover the qualities of a good boyfriend (which most women tend to overlook)
- Part 2 | Verify: Learn key questions to ask a guy to know his intentions (to see if you two are compatible)
- Part 3 | Qualify: Watch for the signs of a good man (because words are great, but action is what matters)
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