26 Ways to Radiate Femininity + Bring Out His Masculinity
In this article, you'll discover...
Table of Contents
What is feminine energy when dating?
“Feminine energy” is a key aspect for every woman to understand – but what is feminine energy when dating?
Tapping into your femininity is the first part of my two-part process that makes a man chase a woman:
In previous articles, I revealed the secret behind how to get a guy to ask you out by understanding what triggers emotional attraction in a man.
Now, I’ll show you how to take your meaningful connection to the next level by turning it into a romantic one with Mr. Maybe by discovering how to be more feminine and attractive.
This will not only help him view you as the rare and desirable woman you are but also give you ways to turn down your masculine energy and embrace your femininity for yourself.
All Readers Welcome
While this article was written with single women seeking men in mind, as that’s the perspective I can personally speak to, most advice is applicable to all genders and orientations.
So, if you identify outside of a heterosexual female, let me extend a warm personal welcome!
I’m glad you’re here and hope my content helps you achieve your love/life goals even faster.
- Camille Virginia
In the coaching world, “femininity” can be used as a catchall word that sounds fancy but is incredibly vague.
Phrases like the Divine Feminine, Goddess Power, and The Awakened Woman may resonate with some ladies, but I’d rather give you practical ways to radiate feminine energy so you can use it as a natural attraction tool.
For starters, here’s a quick overview of the difference between masculine vs feminine aspects…
Masculinity and mixed messages
The roles of men and women have shifted a lot over the past few decades – especially on the education, career, and dating front.
There are more women in higher education now than there are men. Men and women are also becoming more equal in their careers in terms of salary, promotions, and representation – but we still have a ways to go.
While much of that role-shifting has moved in a positive direction for women, it’s left all genders a little confused about modern dating protocols and wondering, “Why does dating have to be so difficult?”
If you’re a strong woman who actively sets goals in your life, being in your masculine energy to “make things happen” has likely become your MO to achieve what you want.
It can also lead you to wonder, “What’s wrong with guys today? They never take the lead anymore.”
Being in more feminine energy of patience and letting things happen – including letting people come to you – can actually be the hard part for a woman like you.
I was stuck in my masculine energy for, oh, about a decade.
I was successful in my corporate job, planning international trips with friends every year, moving to different cities by myself, and always pushing myself to get things done so I could move on to the next goal.
So naturally, whenever I met a man I became interested in, I’d take the same aggressive approach to “make it happen” with him.
But taking the lead like that was not only a completely unenjoyable process, it also never gave me the results I wanted. Let’s just say I had no clue what feminine energy was when I was dating – or really, anytime.
Most quality men who are seeking a long-term relationship want a woman who lets them be the man.
So, if you’ve wondered, “Why don’t guys approach me?”, “Why don’t guys ask me out?” or “I’m a total catch, why am I single?” the solution may be to shift into feminine energy and encourage men to come to you.
Men are competitive by nature and often enjoy being in that role at work, in sports, and with their buddies. But when it comes to their female partner, they don’t want to compete or have a constant power struggle.
Men want a partner who’s on their team; who supports them and has their back.
So if you constantly try to take the lead and “make things happen,” as I did for so long, most men won’t know what their purpose or place is with you.
For example, when my friend Michelle met her now-husband, Mike, he took her salsa dancing on their first date.
Michelle is a smart, strong woman with an executive title who goes for what she wants – and confidence is one of the key traits men look for in a woman.
But on the date, she let Mike lead.
Later, he shared with her that the salsa dancing lesson was not only meant for a fun night out but also to see if she could let him take the reins on the dance floor.
He wasn’t interested in a woman who would turn something enjoyable like dancing into a power struggle.
Going a step further, when you take the lead with a man, it not only repels the right ones, it attracts the wrong ones – the men who are very much content with you doing all the work for them and your relationship.
Take it from someone who’s made that mistake, several times, you don’t want to attract a man like that.
This is why, while I respect some of Bumble’s initiatives (such as their policy to make unsolicited pictures illegal), many of my female coaching clients don’t enjoy making the first move – even from behind a screen.
Most women want the man to chase them – not have the man sitting ideally by, putting zero effort into the interaction, waiting for her to take the lead.
Embrace your femininity
Everyone has both masculine and feminine aspects within them. The key is to define what those aspects mean for yourself so you can be conscious of which energy you’re leading with and when.
Embracing your femininity is part of how to be approachable as well as how to talk to men with ease. Especially once you understand how to tap into your feminine energy when dating.
As you discover more about your feminine side, you can use it as a natural attraction tool to be feminine with a man and bring out his masculine side.
Masculine energy can be a great source of power for women. I’m in more of a masculine mode when working on business strategies, tech aspects, or crossing things off my To Do list.
However, being in that mode 24/7 and doing all the work to make things happen can quickly feel exhausting.
I love to balance that mode with activities that bring out my feminine side – like when I’m coaching a client, reading a book, or spending time with a man I’m interested in.
In those situations, I’m not forcing anything or trying to accomplish a goal. Instead, I’m simply being present in the moment and letting inspiration, ideas, and conversation topics come to me.
How to radiate feminine energy: 26 ways
Embracing your femininity isn’t just for when you’re going to be around men; it’s giving yourself permission to simply be present, enjoy the moment and chill out. You’re a human being, after all – not a human doing.
If you want to learn how to be feminine with a man then give yourself permission to tap into your softer side.
Whether that’s lounging at home in a cozy boyfriend-style sweater, cuddling up with a soft blanket and a glass of wine, or sporting your ballet flats as you dance around your house to Demi Lovato (highly recommended).
Note: Just like offline dating (i.e. dating without apps), triggering your senses to tap into your feminine energy while you’re dating can only happen in real life – not online.
My go-to approach with embracing my femininity and tapping into feminine energy is to engage my senses.
Your senses of smell, sight, taste, touch, and sound, as well as your emotions, are powerful ways to instantly get out of your analytical head (masculine) and into your body (feminine).
Maybe you’re out on a Saturday in masculine mode: running errands and crossing items off your To Do list – but you have a date later that night and want to be more in your feminine energy when on the date.
Triggering one of your senses helps shift into your feminine energy so you can feel more feminine and attractive for your evening out on the town with that cute guy you met at Walgreens last week.
The trigger should be something that feels enjoyable.
As I state throughout my book, The Offline Dating Method, find the approach that feels fun and exciting for you – not one that feels forced or like work – so you actually look forward to applying it.
Let’s start with smell since I feel like it’s an easily forgotten sense. It’s also the sense most connected to long-term memory.
While studying abroad in Dijon, France for a semester, one of my friends wore a splash of Issey Miyake perfume every day.
After I returned home to the U.S., I bought a bottle for myself, and it’s been my go-to scent ever since.
Now, almost 20 years later, every time I wear it, I’m still reminded of one of the best times in my life, living with my wonderful French host family and traipsing all over Europe, spending every weekend in a different country.
Here are some ways to tap into the power of smell to engage your femininity and embrace your feminine energy (when dating, or anytime!)…
1) Light a scented candle
I once came across a beautiful quote that described candles as a silent and comforting presence in the room. There is something about having a candle flickering by your bedside that makes you feel less lonely.
There are so many candle companies and scents to choose from, find a few that help bring out a certain mood in you or relate to the current season.
Perhaps a fresh lavender for spring, pumpkin spice for fall, and evergreen forest for the winter holidays.
Filling up your room with a magical scent can brighten up your mood and even make you more creative.
2) Spritz some perfume
Perfume and cologne can instantly bring back memories of something or someone special.
One of my ex-boyfriends wore Acqua Di Gio cologne while we were together, and whenever I catch a whiff of it on another man wearing it, it reminds me of my first few weeks living in Chicago when I was with my ex.
I not only wear perfume to tap into my feminine energy when I’m dating a man, but also when I’m doing interviews and filming video content.
Even though viewers can’t smell it, the act of wearing it for myself helps me feel more confident, attractive, and feminine which comes through in my posture and words.
3) Smell the roses (literally)
Go for a leisurely walk and take a whiff of the flowers, fruits, or plants you pass by them. If it’s not the season for natural greenery, seek out places that have them.
I’m an Oregon girl, so the harsh winters during my nine years living in Chicago were always tough.
I’d grown up with pine trees that stayed green year-round, so going for five months without seeing an actual plant during the Midwest winters was a challenge.
But I made it a point every winter to visit the Garfield Park Conservatory, one of the largest and most stunning botanical conservatories in the country.
I’d also stop by Green Chicago, a florist boutique filled with green plants of every shape and size, and take in a big whiff of nature in the comfort of a beautiful indoor atrium.
The skin is the largest organ in the body – so time to have some fun with it!
From a deep tissue massage to a cozy flannel blanket, using different textures can be a great way to get into your feminine energy when you’re in the dating stage – or even when you’re at home just chilling by yourself.
4) Grab an oversized sweatshirt
I discovered the beauty of oversized comfy sweaters a little later in life than most women.
I love tailoring my clothes to fit my body just right, so I never understood why women loved wearing big, bulky shirts that hid their form.
But after trying on a few giant fleece sweaters in an H&M dressing room one day, I finally understood the level of comfort and cozy they provided.
Oversized clothes are fun to curl up in on the couch when it’s raining outside or to head out with on a cold winter evening to a friend’s house for game night.
5) Get moving, girl
Moving around is a great way to get out of your head and into your body.
Find a local athletic club with a pool and swim some laps, grab a Class Pass or a partner and join a Zumba session, or just go for a walk around your neighborhood (and stop to smell the roses, of course).
Or if you’re as uncoordinated as I am, try dancing around your apartment to Little Boots’ “Remedy” – I guarantee it’ll boost your mood…
6) Cuddle up in a soft blanket
Never underestimate the power of nestling into a big, cozy blanket on a comfy couch.
Enjoy curling up on it with a good book, watching your favorite Nora Ephron RomCom, or gazing at the thunderstorm outside holding a warm cup of hot chocolate.
Some of my favorite blanket fabrics are flannel, fleece, and acrylic – or, heck, treat yourself to a super-soft cashmere blend.
7) Wear sexy lingerie - just for you
I came across an article with job interview tips for women and loved that they recommended wearing a set of sexy lingerie to an interview!
It wasn’t about who else was going to see the underwear, it was all about how wearing it can make you feel sexier and more confident.
It’s like you have your own little secret that shows on your face, letting people wonder, “If you only knew the sexy that was under these clothes right now!” It’s feeling worthy of wearing hot underwear for yourself.
And if you happen to have plans with a guy that night, it’s a great way to embrace your feminine energy in dating – even if he needs to wait a little longer to actually get to see it.
8) Get a full-body massage
Every month, I look forward to my 90-minute deep tissue massage from my massage therapist, Ralph.
Like many people, I spend the majority of my workday on a computer, so Ralph always has his work cut out for him with getting the knots out of my shoulders.
But thanks to him, I stay aligned enough to keep writing articles like this one.
No matter how your workday or life affects your body, I highly recommend getting a massage every few months to work out the kinks and knots.
You’ll thank me later.
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9) Go do some yoga
Yoga is great for your body in many ways – improved alignment, deeper breathing, enjoyable relaxation, and mental clarity, just to name a few.
And if you happen to have a date that night, it can be a great way to calm nerves and tap into hour feminine energy when on the date.
Head to your local yoga studio to get some social time in and on-the-spot corrections from an instructor.
Or join a class without leaving your living room by downloading an app or watching a YouTube video.
Plus, a key part of knowing how to attract a high-value man and understanding how to inspire him to commit is having an active lifestyle and community activities that you’re a part of.
10) Take a bubble bath
My friend Ari is addicted to bubble baths. She loves the warmth and comfort of being immersed in water with her head tilted back, completely relaxed.
She and I live in different cities, but we talk on the phone regularly.
Sometimes during one of our evening chats, I’ll hear a splash in the background and start making fun of her for talking on the phone while sitting in the bathtub.
I mean, what are friends for?
A bubble bath is a great way to get out of your head and into your body, without having to go find a pool.
Try adding some Epsom salt which has been shown to make magnesium and sulfate soak into your body which helps relax your muscles and loosen any stiff joints.
Taste is a powerful sense that we biologically need to engage throughout the day, every day, so take some time to literally savor it.
Whether you’re having a lazy Sunday afternoon or want to tap into your feminine energy (when dating or simply for your own enjoyment), here are some ideas…
11) Eat a mood-booster food
I love food – but as you know, they aren’t all created equally.
The next time you’re at the grocery store, grab a few treats that can have unique health benefits, like boosting mental clarity.
Try fermented foods, fatty fish like salmon, dark chocolate, bananas, and lentils.
Then, the next time you’re craving a snack, you’ll reach for these healthy alternatives instead of the potato chips – and help boost aspects like your mood and creativity in the process!
12) Order a custom espresso drink
Want a little pick-me-up goodie?
Head to your local coffee shop and grab a Grande Caramel Crunch Frappuccino, half soy milk, half almond milk, two shots of caramel, extra ice, with whip – hold the judgment, please.
Or, you know, whatever your unique personal drink preference is.
Pair it with cozying up in a soft blanket reading InStyle, an Elizabeth Peters mystery, or a steamy romance novel on the couch while you listen to the rain outside.
13) Whip up hot cocoa + marshmallows
If coffee or complicated drinks orders aren’t your thing, go for a cup of hot chocolate at the coffeehouse – or just make an instant cup at home.
Personally, I prefer dark chocolate – but those mini marshmallows are never enough for me.
I always buy a separate big of the bite-sized marshmallows and plop them in my drink. Sometimes I even eat them plain. Zero shame.
14) Sip some bubbly
Champagne doesn’t have to be saved only for special occasions. Try cracking open a bottle when a girlfriend comes over for dinner or grab one as you head out to a movie in the park.
My go-to move after a disappointing date or bad breakup was always to sip a glass of champagne while watching my favorite Jane Austen movies (Pride and Prejudice or Emma) which reminded me that, yes, true gentlemen were still out there.
Or at least they were 250 years ago.
Sometimes a glass of bubbly just makes you happy and allows you to drift into a new state of mind, so feel free to indulge – either by yourself, with a bestie, or to shift into your feminine energy on a date.
Sound can be an instant emotional trigger – like that song that comes on the radio that reminds you of a specific time in your life, or perhaps a specific person.
I know you’ve experienced the moment, after a bad breakup, when a heart-wrenching song comes on the radio and you can’t get to the dial fast enough to change it.
Or maybe it seemed like it was tough to listen to the radio because every song seemed to speak to your pain.
But the flip side is true too – sometimes the right song can turn around your bad day or give you the motivation to run one more lap before you head home.
Harness the power of sound to express yourself and embrace your femininity.
15) Sing a song in the shower
You know that song…the one that’s been stuck in your head for days?
Get it out of your system the next time you’re in the shower!
The acoustics (and audience of none) are always better in a shower, so go ahead and belt out Ariana Grande’s “Bang Bang,” or Natasha Bedingfield’s “Pock Full of Sunshine.”
Heck, Paul McCartney wrote and rehearsed most of his early songs in his childhood bathroom.
16) Go for a drive and belt it out
Another totally underrated singing spot is the car. Sometimes I like to pretend I’m in my own little recording studio; one where absolutely no one can hear – nor ever will – what I’m singing.
Turn on some classic rock and when you hear Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian”, belt out that “Motorin’!” or sing along to REO Speedwagon and “I’m gonna keep on loving youuuuuuuu!”
A car is also a great place for throwing out a yell, like the “Woooo!” in the middle of Jimmy Eats World’s “The Middle” or the pause followed “Ahhhhhhhhh!” in MGMT’s “Kids,” and really go for it.
We live in a visual culture, where beauty is valued and appreciated – whether it’s found in nature, art, or fellow humans.
Sometimes just changing up your look or adding a dash of something shiny to your outfit is all it takes to feel like a brand new woman – and remind yourself that you, my dear, are a beauty to be enjoyed as well.
17) Get dolled up
It’s easy to fall into a ho-hum routine with your makeup (Guilty!). But makeup can be a fun and easy aspect of your appearance to change up every once in a while.
Before heading over to a girlfriend’s house for movie night, set aside a few extra minutes to apply that light grey eyeshadow you bought months ago – or bring it with you and watch tutorials on YouTube together to try applying it together.
You can also book an appointment with a professional makeup artist at a department store, Sephora, or Ulta to see what colors and techniques they use.
My friend Sharon treated me to the Oregon Ballet Theater annual gala one year.
So in return, I treated her by booking us makeup appointments at Sephora so we could look and feel amazing for the special evening.
18) Try new 'do
Similar to changing up your makeup, it can be fun to try a new hairstyle!
When I first moved from Portland to Chicago, I was feeling bold and ready for a change.
So, after 15 years of being blond, I asked my new hairstylist to take my hair back to my natural brunette roots.
After the appointment, I went straight to a party at a friend’s boyfriend’s house. I remember stepping into the bathroom, turning to face the mirror, and literally jumping backward in fear.
I didn’t recognize myself with my new hair color and thought someone else was in the bathroom with me.
Pro Tip: Find your celebrity hair twin, then Google their name and the term “side part” to get ideas for my favorite sexy hairstyle that just about anyone can wear.
19) Add some bling
If you want to spice up any outfit or don a statement piece conversation starter (and learn how to be approachable in the process), add a unique piece of jewelry.
It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive – it could be a shiny crimson necklace or a vintage sparkly bracelet. My personal favorite is a little hand chain I found years ago.
It’s so simple but so unique. When I briefly dated a famous celebrity, I wore it on each of our dates together because he was so intrigued by it.
I also have gold stud earrings where one earring is a lock, and the other is a key.
Out of the thousands of people I’ve worn them in front of, only about five or six have noticed them. It’s no surprise that those were also some of the most curious and interesting people I met.
20) Paint, draw, or build
Tap into your creative side and express your emotions by creating a piece of art.
Pull out your easel and put those watercolor classes to use by painting an English countryside landscape, or head to a pottery class and get your hands all up in that clay to make a new fruit bowl.
Everyone needs a new fruit bowl, right?
Heck, even assembling that new filing cabinet you bought at Home Depot last week can count as building – that’s art too. Just slightly more functional art.
21) Get your flora on
Surrounding yourself with plants has been shown to have many health benefits, like increased oxygen.
But plants can also help you feel connected with nature, even when it’s hard to access real nature outside because of living location or the season.
Grow a vegetable garden in your backyard, join a community garden (which comes with the bonus of social time), or take a flower arrangement class.
Grab a friend and head out to the country to pick some apples, blueberries, or whatever is in season that sounds delicious.
Even though emotions may not technically be a sense, they hold the ultimate power of expression. So I saved the most powerful way to shift into your feminine energy for last.
We all go through ups and downs throughout our day, week, and life, and emotions will come and go with every ebb and flow of those journeys.
But when you can understand them, as well as how to trigger and express them in a healthy way, life will become so much easier and more enjoyable to navigate.
22) Trigger a desired emotion
A great way to tap into your feminine energy when dating is to get out of your head and into your body.
You can do this by purposefully triggering any pent-up emotions, which allows you to truly feel them and finally release them. In other words: permission granted to get a little (or a lot) emo.
Self-awareness is one of the six qualities of a good boyfriend (and a crucial part of attracting the right man) so being aware of your own emotions and how to handle them is great practice for your future man who should have the same capabilities.
Maybe you’re just having one of those days (or weeks) and you’ve been on the verge of crying all day.
Try to hold it together until you get home from work, then cozy up to watch The Fault in Our Stars, Marley and Me, or any episode of This is Us.
Give yourself space to feel whatever emotions need to come out so they can move through you to be fully processed and healed.
Personally, I enjoy a good “car cry” every now and again, where I know I have complete time and space to myself (and preferably on a two-lane road).
I’ll throw on a pair of sunglasses, turn up the radio or my iTunes, and let it rip. It feels great, and I know no one will disturb me.
When you’re carrying a negative emotion, you have to feel it to heal it, no matter how seemingly insignificant or random the emotion or event is.
Whether it’s a close friend who forgot to text you on your birthday, a Facebook post of your ex with his new girlfriend, or finding out your coworker bestie is leaving the company.
Emotions aren’t logical, you feel them when and how you feel them – sometimes as a result of an event or person, other times for no reason.
If you continually suppress them, they’ll get stuck in your body and eventually come out at a time that may be, shall we say, less than convenient.
Plus constantly managing or avoiding your feelings takes a ton of energy that could be used on other things.
23) Read a romance novel
Sometimes you just need to escape into a fantasy world where men are just the right combination of rugged, tender, kind, smart, attractive, and adventurous.
Romance novels can be a perfect getaway to a land full of passion and desire – and far, far away from reality.
Find a sub-genre, series, or author that you really like, grab a cup of dark hot chocolate and a cozy cashmere blanket, then get lost in the fantasy for a bit.
24) Watch a chick flick
If you can’t together with your real girlfriends, get together with your character girlfriends – whether that’s Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte; Andi, Karen, Danni, and Sabrina; or Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe.
Even if you’ve watched a certain show or movie a million times, it can still feel like you’re visiting with old friends and are part of their story, which – bonus – always has a happy ending.
25) Journal it out
Writing is a great way to express your emotions. I keep a gratitude journal every night where I write five things from the day that I’m grateful for.
Each gratitude must be different from the ones I’ve written in previous entries, so it inspires me to find and focus on the positive even when I’ve had a tough or disappointing day.
It’s also great to journal out thoughts around someone who’s hurt you, a painful breakup, or after just having one of those days (or weeks) so you can explore why you might be feeling down.
That way you can call it into awareness and start working to improve it.
Maybe you’ve had one too many online dating disappointments and find yourself declaring, “Guys don’t date anymore!”
Instead of holding the bad behavior of a few men against the entire male gender, write down all the examples you can think of to disprove that false negative mindset
This way it doesn’t lodge in your mind as a fact and turn off good men who can sense that bitterness.
26) Practice being present
Meditation is a great way to get in tune with your innermost feelings, and simply being present is one of the 10 signs of a good man.
Sometimes it’s easier to try to convince yourself that everything is fine when, yeah, it’s just not.
It can feel overwhelming with where to start in understanding your emotions, which is when meditation can come in handy.
Meditating helps quiet your mind and can reveal your true thoughts and feelings.
It also can bring ideas, insights, and inspirations to the surface that may not otherwise be able to come out because of all the distractions you’re faced with every day.
As you practice meditating, your mind will become quieter and you’ll be able to focus on being more present in your day-to-day.
Try a guided meditation on an app like HeadSpace, or simply set a timer for five minutes while you sit in silence, focus on your breath, and see where your mind takes you.
Conclusion: Your feminine energy when dating (+ always)
A key part of giving a man space to come to you is by tapping into your feminine energy when dating – but embracing your femininity can also simply be for your own enjoyment.
The fastest way to tap into your femininity is to simply engage one of your senses. Here are 26 ways to get you started…
But remember, discovering how to be feminine with a man is only one-half of the approach that makes a man chase you…
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